You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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