careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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