tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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