That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
