i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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