just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
