worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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