Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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