Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
