its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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