"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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