ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
no you cant smoke seaweed
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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