Plan B is the new Plan A
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
