The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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