i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
