wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
