how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
