dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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