Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
