She's JV to your varsity
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
