If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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