yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
