508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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