yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
