Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
