absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
