Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
