hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i permit you to call me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
