I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
