I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
