the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
no you cant smoke seaweed
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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