the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
