I just pynch a tree in the face
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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