Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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