They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i think im in europe. pls send help
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
