weddingsv make me drug and hornr
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
