there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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