thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
