I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
