considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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