Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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