So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
