it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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