it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
