haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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