yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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