After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
