at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
