we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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