is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
