your room smells of hookers.
And success
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
