She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
