You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
