Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
