Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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