Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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